How To Leave a Toxic Relationship in The right way

how to leave toxic relationship

Leaving  a toxic relationship can be so stressful and more especial if you still love the person you want  to leave ,it can become more even  harder .if you are a couple who live together  and you have child that needs both of your support then it can go to the next level ,But beside all the stress and pain you may have while thinking about it, leaving a toxic relationship can be worth it in the end .

After reading this post /article you will know exactly why it can be worth it .Before we dive into the exact process of how to leave a toxic relationship let’s clarify a few things first .

Number 1

This article is for someone who is in love toxic relationship.So if you want to end a toxic relationship with your friends or  even your parents then this post may not be an ideal for you 

Number 2 

For the entire article I will assume that the person who is reading is a woman  or female .The reason for that is to avoid too many of him/her in the article so that it will be easy for you to read .

Number 3

Telling your partner that it OVER  is not enough , you need to have a strong valid reason why you want to end your relationship  with him.The good and strong reason for ending  toxic relationship is the one that that when you explaining to him ,he will understand it and see by himself that you are really  can’t hold it  anymore your.We will talk about those reasons later in this article .

Number 4

Deleting cell phone numbers and photos after ending the relationship won’t help as much as you think it can  .The reason  for that  is that stress  for love relationship is based on feelings ,emotions and thoughts .So that mean it can be easy to delete  photos on  your phone but it can be harder to delete them on your mind .

Number 5

Don’t run away .Don’t wait for your partner to go to work and  run away with everything while he is at work .No you must not ,that is not the right way of doing things .

So with that out of the way let’s dive into exact processing for leaving a toxic relationship.The title of this post is how to leave a toxic relationship in the RIGHT WAY.so what is the right way ?

Stop

The right way for leave a toxic relationship is to leave it with dignity.To leave it with dignity you need  to be able to answer the following questions first .

  1. Why you must leave it
  2. What is the right time to let it go
  3. What to do to get out of a toxic relationship .
  4. what will happen after you leave a toxic relationship ?
  5. How to move with your life after you end your toxic relationship ? 

So if you are thinking about ending a toxic relationship with your partner you need to keep in mind  all the above questions  . The problem is  thinking about all of the answers to those questions at once can be a bit overwhelming.If you are serious enough about ending your relationship with him  you would need to go to google or forums  and look for answers to those questions and probably even more others which are not listed above .

However since you found this post you are lucky enough because all of the above 5 questions are answered in detailed  ,So when you go to google you go there to search for specific things that you feel like are not clearly explained  in this post, not looking for basic simple things such as find friends ,delete all contacts for your partner and more .

So are you interested ?

Let’s start to answer the first questions  which is 

1.Why you must leave it

This is probably the first thing you need to know before  you even look at all the quince quinces that comes with ending the toxic relationship .You need to have strong valid reasons as i said in the intro for ending your relationship with your partner .

Don’t just decide to end your relationship because of one mistake that your partner has done to you.Remember that we do make mistakes as human so don’t expect your partner to be perfect to you in all the times .

So what is exactly the good reason for ending a toxic relationship ?

This is the hardest question to answer because I don’t know what is going on in your relationship if I am honest with you .I don’t know what is that makes you  want to end your relationship with him,but whatever it is , it must be something that you see that it will have huge impact in your life if you are continuing to staying together with him.A Good two examples to that is abuse and parting too much.

Both of this two things can have huge impact in your life if you continuing to do them over and over again .So if you asking your partner to reducing doing things like this and he is refusing to do so ,Then that can a good reason for ending your relationship with him .

The reason for ending your  relationship must not be based on material things such as money .I mean you must not end your relationship because both of you are broke ,if you have been around for while you probably has seen couple break up because of money ,later on when one of them have money the other one regret the decision he/she made  for breaking up .i am sure you don’t want to be in that situation .

2.What is the right time to let it go 

So now let’s say you know why you must end your toxic relationship , so the question now is when to let it go ?.

The right time to let it go is the time when you have seen some signs of a toxic relationship in your partner and you have  tried to talk to him about them ,but after talking with him about them you see that he is not willing to make any changes about them.That will be the indication that it time to let it go , but before you leave don’t hesitate to give him few chances to change .People do change from time to time it just a matter of time to realise their mistakes and see that they are wrong.

Some of the toxic signs you can observe in your relationship are listed below .

  1. Resentment 
  2. Toxic communication 
  3. Pretending to be okay 
  4. Ignore your needs  
  5. Negative vibe 
  6. Mutual avoidance
  7. Lying to each other
  8. Criticize each other more 
  9. Not Growing anymore
  10. Regular stress

Those are 10 signs of a toxic relationship from the previous post about this topic on this site .You can read more about them here later for now let continue with how you can get out of this toxic relationship .So if you have observe one or more signs above in your relationship then that is the indication of that you need to do something about your relationship .

The first thing you need to do before you leave is to talk to your partner first about his behavior towards you .If he doesn’t want to listen to you talk with his parents and your parents to help you .If that does not help you and you don’t have anything to do more than that , then they is no doubt that it time to let it go.So now you know why you must let it go and you know the right time for let it go .So it time to look at the things you can do let it go.

3.What to do to let go of a toxic relationship

Photo by _Mxsh_ on Unsplash

The first thing you need to do in this case is to look for place where you will go to after you end your relationship .That is more especial if you have been living together ,you need find place to live in first before you go.The good place to live in  is your home and your home is much better than flats or  any other place you can rent for .

The reason for that is because when you are in your home you live with your parents ,sisters , brothers and more other family members .All of those people will be nearby to help and support you while you are in pain .Unlike if you go to live alone in your apartment where you won’t have anyone to talk to directly .which will make you  feel so lonely and always think about your past relationship which  can lead into stress .

To go to your home is better also for protection purpose , if your partner was abusing you in your relationship and you now  decided to go and live alone in your apartment , chances are he can still come to you to  try to force you to come back to to live with him.He can do that by threatening you by himself or he can just hire someone .Men are so smarter he can  realize that if send someone to you who will threaten you , chances are you will be so scared to live alone and as result you will want come back and live with him even if you don’t want to.

The second thing you need to do ,is to find time to talk about this with your partner .Once you found it tell him that you can’t hold it anymore and don’t shout him because shouting can create fight between you and him.Tell him in the polite way and tell him the reasons why you can’t hold it anymore .Remember early you have talk with him before about his actions towards  you but he didn’t changed , you even talk with his parents and  yours but still nothing changed .So this is the right time to tell him all the effort you have put in to  make your relationship lust with him.

Once you have explain the reason why need to end your relationship with him and you have tell him about all the effort you have been putting to make your relationship with him work .Chances are he will understand it even though it will be hard for him to let you go , but that will much better than just sending an SMS which states that IT OVER and run away .

Those are two things you need to do to leave toxic relationship , of course they can be divided into multiples subsections but in general those are the main things you need to do to end a toxic relationship .

Now before you leave it it you may have to think about what will happen in your life on awards and how are you gonna live your life after you end your relationship with your partner .The last two sections in this post are about those two things,But before we look those two things  let’s look at

What if you haven’t lived together yet with your partner ?

If you haven’t lived together yet , then  this won’t be hard as if you have been living together .All you need to do is to tell him that you can’t hold it anymore and again explain all the effort you have been putting in to make your relationship survive with him .

That is it you don’t have to worry about where to go ,threat or anything like that .All you need  to do in this case is to think about your life after you have end your relationship with him.which lead us to the lust two sections of post which are what will happen after you leave toxic relation and how are gonna move on with your life .

4.So what will happen after you leave a toxic relationship ?

The things that will happen after you leave a toxic relationship are dependent on your past relationship .If your partner was abusing you and you was sick and tired of that then after you leave him you can get freedom in your life .

You will be able to live your life free and safe ,that will more especially if you have been  living together and you decided to go back to your home .You will be able live with your parents ,,brothers and sisters which are probably the most people we love than anyone else on the entire planet .

However if you still love him and you just end your relationship with him because of the long term impact that it will have in your life .Then chances are it can be really hard to move on with your life .That is because of all the good memories you may have for him .They can stick in your mind for long time and it can be hard to deal with them.That leads us to the last section of this post which is 

5.How to move with your life after you end your toxic relationship ?

The most thing that will make your life hard after ending your relationship are your memories as just mentioned  above.They will come back to your mind every time when you are alone, More especially when you are going to sleep at night and Because of that most people will recommend you to delete everything on your phone that has your partner .That include pictures ,cell phone numbers and social network accounts .

But is that really gonna help you ?

The short answer to that is Yes but not as much you think it will help you .You see it is easy to delete pictures on your phone but it is not easy to delete them on your mind as just mentioned  in in the intro .

So what can really help to fight with those memories

There are so many things that can help to fight with those memories .You can ask help from your parents , you can talk with mentors and therapists to help you cancel those memories  you have about your partner.That can really help you because once you have talk with someone about the things that bonders you inside  chances are those things will not stay inside your mind as it used to be .

However,it is not all of us who  have mentors and therapists , So if you don’t have any of those like me ,i recommend you do as follow

1.Focus on your life first

2.Set goals or the things that you want to archive in your life

3.Once you have set your goals then work on them

4.While working on your goals don’t forget to spend some time with your

5.friends if you have them on really live not on social media .Find interesting things to do together or just take walk together with them to go out  maybe eat together or play together , just find something you will enjoy to do when you are together not just sit there and talk about your relationship problems all the times. 

6.If you don’t have friends then consider being helpful to your family .If you have been living with your partner before then it means you are fully mature  or  a bit older now .So that means your parents are getting older now and the more they get older the more things they find it hard to do for themselves .So this is the perfect time for you to be there for them as there son or daughter .Help them to cook , help them wash ,help them to clean yard and house, help them to shop and help them in more other home activities .

7.Now you might be confused. I have just said  set and focus on your goals above and now I said to spend time with friends and family .So how can you achieve your goals while hanging out with friends and do all those home activities at the same time?.Well actually you can manage to those things all , you remember you can be productive for 24/7 per day for 7 days a week no you can’t .You will need to be free sometimes and when you are free instead of thinking about your relationship just think about all those activities  that you must do for parents

Photo by Morning Brew on Unsplash

8.While others recommend you to cancel all communications with your partner , what I suggest you do  instead is to  take a break from social networks .You know that social networks have a huge impact in our life , how will you feel when you see your  friends posting  pictures with their partners on Facebook while your relationship is over ?.

9.You will feel sad for ending your relationship right ?, and because of that you might want to find a new partner fast since you may not want to go back to your partner again .Jumping from this relationship to that relationship won’t help you to be successful in life .That is mainly  because  instead of  you to work on your goals you are busy working on fixing and improving relationships .That can waste a lot of your time in your life and in the end you might end up not wanting to be in relationship again because you have meet so many people and still yet you haven’t find the one that is perfect for you .

10.So because social networks can make you feel stressed and it can create peer pressure for you , that is why you should consider  taking a break from it for at least a month or more until you get better .Social networks won’t only create stress for you but they will also distract you from working on your goals.

Last but not least try not to hate your partner . When you choose to hate your partner too much after break up with him, you will be angry every time you see him or even thinking about him.That will be the ignition of stress , jealous  and guiltiness .And because of that you won’t be able to get all the freedom that  you are suppose to be getting for leaving a toxic relationship with your partner.

WRAP UP 

This article was minted to help those who are in a toxic relationship but don’t know  what to do to leave it and what will happen after leaving it .It was not intended to influence normal people to break up with their partner  .It was intended to help those who have already see that they are in a toxic relationship but don’t know what to do .

So if you feel like your relationship is toxic but not sure if it is or not ,then i suggest you to read this signs of toxic relationship here later or now .After you ready the signs ready here the things you can do to heal your relationship .After you have done with those two things then you can make your decision  .

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Geraldo

It’s great! Thanks

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