Lets face it we all do need advice and tips in our lives to improve our selves or to solve the problems we have .However the truth is not all the advice we get are useful or applicable in to our lives and some of them are wrong too .
This post is about 12 relationship advice that are wrong .First they come to us advice or tip and after sometimes we liked and start to believe in them .That why i am calling them relationship beliefs .
The following relationship beliefs are strong enough to create endless drama in relationship , cause fight that lead in to unhappy and unhealthy relationship .
Combining all those out comes you don’t really have excuse to stop believing in the following wrong relationship beliefs .So lets just cut down the intro and jump straight to first relationship belief which is
1.Fight is a sign of bad relationship
This can be marked as signs of perfectionism which is the need of wanting to appear perfect .The feeling of wanting to have a relationship that has no problem no fights nor conflict always romantic and always full of joy .One mistake it over for it .
Yes ongoing fight in relationship is not good , but i think it also important to remember that we are still human and we have different opinion and values which create some conflict in the relationships we in ,but the most important thing to keep in mind is that the more challenges that couples overcome together the more stronger their relationship will be .
One statistic show that 00% of relationship fail within the first few months .I believe that the huge percentage of those couples who break up so early they break up because of one single fight or conflict .So if you want to have long term relationship you should stop to to be discouraged by minor fight in your relationship .
2.Couples have to do every thing together
By reading that point you can tell straight away that is impossible .I mean you can’t be together 24/7 and i highly believe that this statement does not implies that too .It just encouraging couples to do most o f the things together but because of too much jealous and wrong interpretation one can think that he/she must to every thing with his /her partner every time and every where .
Of cause doing most of the things together can be great and in fact is a good strategy to strengthen a relationship .However important to remember that you have friends ;sisters and brothers who also like to do things and spend some time you .So By saying no this relationship belief you are saying yes to your friends and your family members .
Doing so will help you and your partner to enjoy your life outside your relationship .More especial if you not living together , because if you not living together with him and you want do every thing with him , you might end being stressed about where he is , who he is with ,what they are doing , why he does not call me and etc .Questions like that indicate low level of trust which can a big problem in relationship .
3.It is a duty of women to cook
This is the favorite belief for most for 1000s of men if it is not millions .They strongly believe that is always a duty of women to cook and wash dishes at home .
That start back from their home where their mothers and sisters used to do all those activities for them. In relationship it does not have to work like that ,You wife is not your mother or sister so don’t expect her to do everything for you like her child .
It is not a flop for men to cook .They are lots of men who are cooking in our days and some of them are way better than women in cooking. So if you want to a good husband or boy friend start today to assist your wife or girl friend in those types of home activities. You won’t feel sorry for it .
4.Relationship is all about love
They is a lot going on in relationship it not always about love and i think also that can depend on how you define and understand love in your relationship .
In the last weeks i went though a few top dictionaries trying to find the definitions of true love .What i found is that the even top dictionaries are struggling to define true love in relationship and some of the suggest that it does not even exist .
Anywhere putting aside the destination of love , Relationship is not always about love but It also about trust , communication ,support , sacrifices (time ,money and energy).They are lot things needed for relationship to work .
Some are important and other are not that important .The point is relationship is not always about love and believing in that relationship is all ways about love can lead you in to a perfect relationship which we talk about at the beginning of this post .
5.Men Always have to give more
Whether it money ,time or effort or energy most women expect men to give more on those things .That has ended up becoming a relationship habit .So for example if guy will meet a girl in town , the guy will try every thing he can to get money for food and other things they will do when they are together and sometimes even provide transport for girl .That has become more like a relationship belief and now when girls and boys will meet somewhere girls won’t even bother them selves about contributing in the first time meeting .
whether that is right or wrong it depend up the purpose of your meeting .If you are meeting for purpose of dating then it can be right but if you are meeting for purpose of pursing a long term relationship then that can create problems in the long run for you .Most guys work hard for money so they are very smut when it comes in to spending .So if they see you that you are not contributing when you meet they might not take you seriously.
If yo are someone who meets with guys or men in town try your best to contribute , even if your contribution might be small but it meaning might be too big to the person you meet with .
6.ALL man and women are the same
just because you have been cheated once in your life so you are now living in the fear of the same fate in every relationship you start OR maybe you have been cheated twice and now you have even decided to be single for the rest of your life. I am not gonna blade you for your decisions or encouraging you to try another relationship .
What i will do instead is to emphasize that neither men or women are the same , people are different and because your past relationship ended because of cheating it does not mean the one you are in now will end in the same way .
8.The Memories of the first love
If you have been in relationship with someone since you ware young then you are lucky ,however that is not the case for many of us . We have been starting new relationships again and again and fall on to break up multiple times for varies reasons .But after all those break up and new relationships we start we always tend to compare the first love with new one and said my first love was better in this and that .
That is something that we have been doing for long time and we eve decide that we will never find someone like him/her.YES we will never find some like him/her but we can still find some better or worse than the first love .The time find that person is the time when we stopped comparing the first love with our current love and start to accept their different and appreciate them .
If we don’t do that we will always keep on jumping from this relationship into this relationship just because we want to find someone will be a good replacement for the first love .
7.The 50/50 rule
The 50/50 rule is the follow up for number 5 which is men are expected to give more .If you are not sure about what does 50/50 rule mean in relationship .It simple mean that couples must contribute equally in every thing they do .
So for example if they have to buy grocers they must first add up the total money needed for grocer before they go to store and decide what they will buy .
This rule is dangerous relationship and I am so glad that most couples don’t use it in their relationship .I also believe that you don’t use it too in your relationship : )
9.The compatibility should be a high priority
The compatibility issue is something have been emphasized for multiple times in the department of relationship .
Yes compatibility is important in relationship but it also crucial to understand it as most people don’t understand what does it even mean .Most people think that compatibility in relationship means be similar as possible with the person you are relationship with or want to .If he love soccer then you need to love soccer ,if he is shy then you need to be shay if likes singing then you should love sing too and etc .
That is how most people understand the concept of compatibility in relationship ,However if can we go to dictionary and look for definition of compatibility only i think we can have a better understanding of compatibly in relationship .So the dictionary define compatibility as state in which two things are able to exist or occur together without problems or conflict.
So cutting the differences is not really the only way leading into compatibility but accepting them, appreciating hem and utilize them is also the great way of limiting problems in relationship that can cause compatibility issues .
So the point to that is when looking for love look for someone who have those similarities you like but don’t look for your clone .
10.It always men who have to make the first move
In many years ago that was always the case it was and it still have meaning be hide it which we can talk about in the next post if interested and you free to let me know if you want it in the comment section .So in our days that is not always the case some women/ girls are not afraid the to make the first move to the person that attract them.
I know that from experience because it has happened to me in the past and i know others whom it happened to them as well .However if you are women and you want to make the first move please do take your time in thinking about it just like what men do when they want to make the move to women they truly love .
11.Getting a child will make your relationship stronger
This is the issue that i have seen for many times since from high school especially to the young couples .They think that having a child will make their relationship stronger in such a way that it will be impossible for them to break up .To understand this relationship belief proper lets look at the reason why do they want their relationship to stronger sooner and why do they want something that can keep them together for ever early so?
They can be many reasons for that but the major one is the big amount of love they have for one another .Just like any relationship the love is always hot in the beginning but as time goes on the it start to cool down and down until it end if couples don’t do anything about it .
So young couples who don’t think enough for the selves they decide to have a child early as something that will hold them together for long time ,But what happen after that ?Well the time comes you growing up and starting to know each more than ever .Maybe you are now staring to questioning yourself that is this the really person i want to spend my entire life with?
For many the answer to that question is
The other major reason for this idea is specific for the young men .That happen when a young men find the most beautifully lady he decide to impregnate her so that other dudes will stop chasing her .That does work for many men if we have to be honest .
However Many does not mean all .So those who it did’t worked for them they find the child to be a huge distractions for them to move on with their lives ,Because initially they ware after beauty more than love , as time goes on the beauty start to change in other lades.
Whether it change or not they are still always girls who look better than others for many reasons .Cutting the long story short having a child because of early love or beauty is not the good way of making the relationship stronger .
They are still more better way of doing it .These are 11 tips to make relationship stronger and healthy .Go though them later after this post if you want to strengthen your relationship.
12.The needs and true love
other people don’t tell their partner what they need or want in their relationship .They stay in that belief if he truly love me he must know what i want .Ofcouse if you have been in relationship for long time he can know the most of things you like and dislike , but don’t make him to guess everything you need from him .Sometimes you need to talk with him about you needs ,wants and even goals .So that you can support each other better .
They is always gonna be a war when talking about beliefs . I hope i didn’t start one with you .i didn’t met it too . the entire Aim of the post was to inform not to judge .
which one of the above relationship beliefs you believe in , will you stop believing after reading this post if Yes or No why , let me other readers know Below in the comment section .